Unmotivated, and Frusterated ;

I am so sick and tired of school.  I really am.  Mainly because I feel like its becoming pointless.  I'm not going next semester and when I do go back in the summer, who knows if I will even still want to pursue the Medical Office Administration degree.  I really want to slam my head against a wall when I think about it.  I don't understand how I got to this point, I've never really liked school and it hasn't been as high as it should have been on my priority list.. but its never gotten to the point where I feel like I am just wasting my time and money.  I wish I had a solution of how to fix this, other than just to suck it up.  (Which is what I will end up doing more than likely, because I need to have an education for me and to help provide for our little girl.)

Ughhhh. [slams head into wall]

On the brightside, I started creating a baby registery last night at Target.  It's pretty fun.  It's like a huge wish list!  I love it.  There are so many cute baby things.

I've got baby shower on the brain.  Helen is going to help me with it, because I want to do it in November (3 months out) instead of just a month out like a lot of people seem to do.  I think it would be for the best because of the holidays and so many people are going to have to travel to get to me.  I want to do a fall/halloween theme for it, because it would be fun and not as pink.  Helen didn't seem to fond of the idea, because she said it was about the baby and not about me.  But.. I really think I will end up going with a fall theme because it just seems like fun :)  We will just have to see.  We've got two months before the weekend I picked out, so we have time to plan and decide.

What did y'all do for your baby showers, if you have had a baby?  Or what did your friends do if you have friends or family that had one?

Also, look how cute my furry four legged children are:

Cleo and Pandora
They love each other :)

She only loves me on her time -
So I have to force snuggles upon her.

<3 Tory

**UPDATE**

I couldn't wait until tomorrow to share this.. I just ordered a boobie beanie.  Oh my goodness, its the most awesome thing in the world. 

Picture from "Bring Back Boobie Beanie" Facebook Page!

I didn't get any of these particular ones.  But the "Ivory"  beanie to the left is the main colour and then mine has a medium brown nipple and its for a 0-6 month old! I am so excited.   Ahh, I've never seen something so cool for babies to wear asides from the batman outfit onesie for the baby.  So awesome.

If anyone else wants one of these you can go to http://www.boobiebeanie.com/ to order it !

:D

Panda Shirt and Planning;



Incase you were unaware.  They are just my thing; always have been, always will be.  Kinda like Batman.  He's pretty badass too.  I plan to have these likes rubbed off on my little baby until she can decide for herself whether or not pandas and Batman are really as cool as I claim.

Also, if you were confused.  Yes, Batman onsies even though she is a girl, will be bought (a couple have already landed in my posession) and put on her.  Blue bows will also be bought to ensure that people know she is a girl and not a boy.  I have this thought out.

Anyway, back to the point.  My mom found this shirt and sent it to me.  I love it, its so cute and its really comfortable.  She got it at Cafepress, if anyone wants one too. 

If you can't really tell what it says, it says:
"There's something cuddly inside..."

So cute.

Other than receiving this awesome package, nothing has really happened today.  I got off work early again because one of the girls I work with is really nice and let me be the first out when I was supposed to be the second.  I probably shouldn't get in the habit of this and collect all the money that I can, but...  I think it will be okay if I just do this a couple times.  Next week I have a lot of hours anyway, so I will make up for it. 

Also, today I started coming to the realization that I need to start planning what I am going to do next semester for school/work/anything having to do with when the baby comes, for when Caleb gets deployed in May.  I have been putting off thinking about all of these things, because I just don't want to think about it.  Well, except for school, I think I am pretty much decided that I am not going next semester because just to much will be going on and I know that my efforts won't be there.  They will be in my baby and spending as much time with Caleb as physically possible.  Even though it is still 8 or so months away, if I don't start thinking about it, I will keeping putting it off and then, POOF.  Our little girl will have popped out. 

I talked to a couple people, including my mom, I think as long as Caleb is okay with it.  I am going to go ahead and start my maternity leave a month early, and start before the Christmas season.  So I can be free to visit family according to Caleb's schedule and get through the last bit of school.  As for returning to work, that is still up in the air... Caleb made a comment last night that me working would just be paying for daycare so it would almost be pointless.  My mom agrees.  I think they are right.  The only problem with this is... I HATE having to touch Caleb's money.  To have to depend on his money for every single thing is going to kill me.  Needless to say, I am probably going to have to find a stay at home job so I can get things for myself that doesn't have anything to do with our baby.  (Because she will obviously be an exception, if she needs it, she gets it no matter whos pocket it comes from.)  Maybe it will be just something I have to just get over.  I don't know.  It will get taken as it comes.

With that, I will now sleep on it and maybe think more tomorrow.  I have to open, so.. I gotta get those hours in.  :)

<3 Tory

Catch Up Time;

Since nothing special happened today, (Not including the fact that I got off ridiculously early :D) I am going to fill this post with pictures from the weekend that I want to share!

But before I start, does anybody have an recommendations how how to go about further personalizing this?  Any useful websites I could poke around?  I used to be pretty good at the whole creating layouts thing, but... that has been many moons ago.   Not that I don't like the owls.. but they really just.. have nothing to do with anything.

Saturday - Dinner with Helen

Caleb and I met Helen half way in Hamlet to have dinner!  After a day and a half of begging Caleb to come with me because he didn't want to feel like the 3rd wheel.  (Which he did not of course.)  We ate ate this resturant called FATZ, and it was pretty delicious.  We didn't leave until around 1 in the morning after getting there at 8pm.  Needless to say, there was a lot of catching up to do.  I wish Helen lived closer.  I do indeed miss the days where it took all of 5 minutes to walk to her house.

This is also the night where I felt our little lady kick for the first time.  These pictures were taken only hours before.  Hehe.







I don't know about you, but I think that the picture of Caleb and Helen is freaking hilarious.  The look on his face, and then her in mid-laugh makes me happy.  My husband is such a goofball, and I love it.  I am going to document all the faces he can make so I can show them to our daughter while he is deployed.  That way she gets a sense of who her daddy really is.  <3




Sunday - Monday (And Tuesday, but that is up to date!)  Ashley came to visit!

Having Ashley here was a lot of fun, we just hung out and watched TV or did fun things.  Monday when she got here, we watched Splice with the husband and Gut.  That move is werid.  Enjoyable, but really werid.  I still need to take it back, come to think of it.  -.-



It was so much worse than it looks. 
That fan worked wonders though, kind of.


On Monday, it was Labor Day so both Caleb and I were off from everything.  Which was amazing, but while he was getting his hair done and such Ashley and I went to the pool for a little while.  This led us to have the wonderful idea to have a little cookout for Labor Day.  This nice cookout was to be on our apartment porch... in the daytime.  Somebody should have said hey, you should deffinitely wait until night time so the smoke wouldn't be so visable.  This is a big deal only because having a grill on your porch is... lets say, looked down upon in North Carolina.  Regardless of the drama that we went through to get the burgers, they were dank.  Red Robin seasoning is the best!  Yes, you can buy it.  It is $3 at your local Red Robin.

Not only did we have a small cookout, it was a nice collection of people.  Old friends Michael and Raven were up from driving Gio from Indian Trail, back to Fayetteville.  I hadn't seen either of them in at least 6 months. 

Then of course, you should know on Tuesday we found out the amazing news that our little baby is a girl, but you know that ;)

<3 Tory

20 Weeks;

Heck yes!  Half way there, already!  Soon, I will be all the way there and will be having this little girl!

I am starting to become in desperate need of a band to put over my pants or shorts to cover the fact that I can't button them.  My stomach is deffinitly not slowing down on this growing.  But thats okay.  :) 

As for baby movement updates, I finally felt two little kicks last Sunday morning around 1230 am.  We were still out from when we went out to eat with Helen, just sitting outside talking about everything that we could even think to talk about pretty much and I felt two little pops almost back to back!  I was so excited!! Caleb tried to feel but she stopped once he put his hand on my stomach... she seems to do that.  But he did think that she felt her move around afterward!  She will kick every once and a while since then, I will feel at least something everyday.  She was kicking a couple minutes ago when I was watching TV.  <3

Also, as you can see:  my baby is bigger than the average baby!  Hooray growth!

As I may or may not of mentioned Caleb and I were not very good at picking out, deciding, and agreeing on girl names.  However, we did come up with one and agree on it last night/ this morning - Ayden Jade.  I think it is really pretty!  However,  who knows if that will be the actual name when she is born.  :p





Oh my goodness, I am so excited.  I love those pictures so much, they make me so happy!!

<3,

Tory

Drumroll, please! ;

Yes!  You see correctly!  It is indeed a little girl!  Caleb and I are still in shock, we were really thinking it was a boy.. but we are MORE than happy that it is a girl!  Watching her in the ultrasound was so adorable.  She is just like her daddy, I have come to the conclusion.  When the ultrasound technician was trying to get a good picture of her face, she would NOT have it at first.  She would cross her little arms over her face, and then eventually she gave up and let us get one :)  And that is EXACTLY how Caleb is.  We also got a picture of her playing with her feet.  She is so amazing already.  <3

Along with being so amazing, she is also big!  The UT was saying that she must be loving what I am feeding her because she is already 11oz, and so the due date got pushed forward five days, putting it at January 24th! 

I will share some ultrasound pictures and weekend tomorrow, but today has been a busy busy day.  Therefore, it is BEDTIME :D

I hope y'alls day was at least half as good as mine :)

<3 Tory

Cranberry Juice is my New Best Friend ;

I liked it before I got pregnant, but these past couple of days I have freaking LOVED it.  It's awesome, and healthy!  I'm glad I found a juice to  be craving and obsessed with instead of soda.. I really needed to get off that kick!  :/  It was dehydrating me out, like a prune.  I know the wee babe wasn't to excited about it.

In 30 minutes Caleb and I will embark on the hour long journey to Hamlet to meet up with Helen to eat dinner!  I am excited.  I miss my dear friend.  I am excited to show her my belly button... if that doesn't sound werid.  It's just so odd seeing it flattening out!

Speaking of my belly button, Caleb helped me FINALLY get that maternity belly button ring in.  It didn't really feel that great, but now I am sure that my belly button ring won't eject out or rip and I wouldn't have wasted 20 dollars and a live long "I swear I will never get my belly button pierced."  (I used to think it would be really werid, because you know when you poke your belly button really hard it feels... not norma?  Well I don't like that feeling. So.. I thought getting it pierced would be like that feeling and it freaked me out.  Until Helen got one and talked me into getting one. :D )


You can also see my belly button deformation here.  <3

Baby movement update:  I think I have felt some action going on in there.  Just like little pops that obviously aren't gas bubbles.  It's awesome!  But its only when I am laying down to go to sleep.  I have to be reallllllyyy still.  I think I can also feel like where the baby is in there.  Like, I feel like there is a mass in my stomach in certain places.  :D  But, I have been able to feel that.  It's still awesome :)

Well, its time to leave to go feast with the bestie and hub a lubs. 

Here is a picture of him for your viewing pleasure:

Shhh, he's "working".  Yes, that is what he refers to game time as. :p

<3, Tory.

Asia Is On My Side ;

That's right.  I said it.

I was looking at this Chinese Birth Calender, which is supposed to have a ridiculously high success rate and it said that Caleb and I were having a BOY! <3  His Korean step-mother had also channeled into her ancient Korean knowledge and thinks we are having a boy too.  (This was determined mid-July so it wasn't to to recent but still...  Hooray!

Anyway, the Chinese Birth Calender is pretty interesting.  It's this big chart, and you find your age that you will be when you are going to have the baby and then you find the month that you concieved the baby and BAM!  It has either a M or a F.  (For anybody that wants to check my chart using skills, I will be 20 and I concieved in late April.  Even if I am remembering wrong and I actually concieved in May, the little letter is still the same :) ) 

Regardless, we fill find out the real answer SOOOON :D

Until then, I have a lot of events to fill up my time to make it go faster.  Tomorrow I work in the morning and then I get to clean all day and run errands with the husband... maybe.  Either way I get to spend all my time with him because he has a four day for Labor Day!  Saturday, I work again and then have a dinner date with Helen.  Then Sunday I work in the morning again, and my friend Ashley is coming up and spending the night and then Monday Mrs. Patti will meet us here and visit.  :)  Hopefully I will have pictures of all of these events to share, since I am lacking tonight.  My apologies.  .... did I mention that my husband also has a four day this weekend ;) ! AHHH!  I am so excited about that. Seriously.

Baby movement update - Still nothing big.  I thought I felt a little one today.  But its so light.  I can't tell if it actually happened or if it is in my head because I want to feel something big so bad.  :(  It's honestly kind of making me paranoid that something has gone wrong.. I will be put at ease though on Tuesday when I see he or she move around.  I know that I may not feel anything for another week or so.  Ugh!

I hope everyone has a goodnight, it is bed time for me.  Gotta be rested to work in the morning so I can be bright eyed and bushy tailed.  Hah.

<3 Tory.